Ineffectual Blues

My husband (yes, I have one of those) is concerned about the amount of bile I consume. Probably, he is right to be concerned. In many ways, this blog was an attempt to exorcise some of the poison, though I have to admit, it hasn't worked quite as well as I had hoped. I love my husband dearly, and have no doubt that he loves me and is only concerned for my well-being. Still, I sometimes feel that his perspective on a lot of this political filth, the perspective that says, "don't engage; it will only make you angry," is a privilege he has that I don't. Because as angry and upset as this stuff makes him, the legislation that arises from all the hateful, ignorant, sexist rhetoric floating out there will never directly affect him. It is possible that it will never affect me. It is possible that I will receive equal pay all my life, that I will never be in a situation where my bodily autonomy is violated. It is possible. But statistically, unlikely.

In terms of what I can do about it, he is right. Posting comments on an article, or on Facebook, is just feeding noise into the void. Even here, though I get to more thoroughly express my views, I don't delude myself into thinking that it really makes an impact anywhere. Because people like this, and this, and this, are published and dispersed to the public, and my voice is so small. Some may call it naïve, some may call it romantic, some may call it idealistic, but I still feel like I have a duty to myself to speak. And if this is the best forum I have, then so be it.

To be fair to my husband, only a portion of the bile comes in the form of sexism. The rest is usually racist, homophobic, or classist, and as such, the charge of unequal privilege is false and unfair. But it may be that my sensitivity, and the way I feel inexorably pulled into engagement arises from the fact that on one front, I can legitimately claim personal grievance. Or maybe I'm just a dupe of the internet, easily lured into the feeling that, because the internet provides me a forum, my voice somehow has more resonance.

The only effective resonance we (the public) have is in our vote. As corrupt and problematic as our electoral system has become, I understand the impulse to disengage, especially when internet invective and its responses are so much more satisfying. Bread and circuses. Provide us with food and entertainment, and we will relinquish our civic power. And here, the internet offers us an endless stream of entertainment. It even offers us a way to satisfy that civic impulse while remaining ineffective.

So, please. If you are one of the millions posting your political fury on Facebook, at least vote.